so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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