I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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