it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
