I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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