i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
