you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
