Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
