TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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