Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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