i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
