You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
