we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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