And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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