using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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