don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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