Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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