Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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