SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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