I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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