his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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