I love black thongs
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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