We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize