I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
