A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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