i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
