I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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