hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
