He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
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