You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
