Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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