I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
