I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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