real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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