I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
