the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
