i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
