there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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