Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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