Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
