She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
