You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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