I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We need to get me chipped asap
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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