The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
