I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
