I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
