whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
