Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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