I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
