so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
