so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
