i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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