Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
