Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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