I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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