maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
When are your genitals available?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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