Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
