I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
