i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
