Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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