it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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