So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
