so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
