sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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