i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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